If you can't say something nice.....

Today I went down to the mall looking for a wireless router for the apartment. I went to a store called Argos, which is the go-to place for home items. It's an interesting store, you can't pick out your item. You have to find the call number in a catalogue, bring that number to the desk and then buy your item. It gets delivered to you minutes later. Anyway, I digress.

In the course of ordering the wireless router I wanted, the cashier woman told me that the wireless router was not exchangeable. I've exchanged them before in the States, so I was a bit puzzled. I asked if I could change it for a different one, or receive store credit or anything. She told me flatly, "No. Nothing." This was rather odd, so I decided to press further.

Upon asking her why a wireless router could not be exchanged, she told me, "For the same reason earrings or a toothbrush can't be exchanged." Now I was totally stumped. What could these three things have in common? I'm not going to clean myself with this wireless router, on the contrary that seems like it would be quite unpleasant. I surely wouldn't wear it as a fashion accessory. What was I missing??

Thoroughly confused, I asked again for more clarification. The tone of her response told me she was growing quite tired of my stupidity. She responded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world:

"Because we can't know if you didn't put a virus on it."

I couldn't help but laugh. This is a piece of hardware, not software. The only virus that could be put onto a wireless router would not be a computer virus.

After I laughed I promised her that I wouldn't swab the router with Swine Flu, but the joke was (obviously) lost on her. She could see I was making fun of her and there was a long line behind me, so she asked me to leave the store. I wanted to buy an adapter for the DVD player, but she repeated that I had to leave the store. It's impossible to argue with someone that dense.

So I left the store smiling to myself. It's not often that you get confronted with something that ridiculous. I headed to a computer store a few floors up and found a similar router. That's when the smile quickly faded. Their cheapest router was 20 Euros more expensive. Since I couldn't go back, I had to bite the bullet.

When I was four years old, my mom tried to teach me a valuable lesson. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Clearly that lesson didn't take. Sorry mom!