That's it. I'm declaring culture war.

Not really. But I do have a few things to complain about. Before I get into this, I want to say that I really like Japan. I like the people, I like the food. I like living here. I really do. But there are a few culture differences that drive me insane. Well, really I have two pet peeves.

My first pet peeve is old Japanese men staring at me. I'm used to be stared at. It's happened everywhere I go. People, no matter their culture, always say the same thing. I know you think I can't understand you when you whisper just after passing by me. But I know. It's difficult for me not to realize it. And if you whisper and laugh, well, I'm not an idiot. I may be large and I may be foreign but I can damn sure do a Rubik's cube faster than you, and that must count for something. Haha. I digress.

Old Japanese men love to stare at me. Some stare in wonder, some stare because I'm so unusual, and some stare at me like I abducted their youngest grandchild and used them as a dart board. And I'm getting sick of it. I do have a theory about this. I believe that the old guys have no shame about staring because respecting your elders is such an important part of the culture here. It gives them a little more leeway on things. Which is fine.

But staring at a person like they aren't wearing any clothes is not ok. It's dehumanizing. And I'm sick of it. With this in mind, I've declared a staring war on all old Japanese men that stare at me. This means I am going to have a staring contest with them. Few blinks, no facial expressions. And I won't stop until it's necessary or they've given up. I know I'm living in their country and I should try and assimilate and all that jazz, but once you get stared at like a three-armed monkey at a zoo for six months, well it gets kind of annoying. So from here on out, it's on old Japanese guys!!

My second pet peeve is related to my bicycling adventures. Japan usually has nice wide sidewalks, and they're usually lined with ridges in the middle for blind people to navigate with. Which is great. My problem comes with the way Japanese people walk. I'm not sure if they all have something wrong with their inner ear or they have no proprioception, but Japanese people can't walk in a straight line. They'd be sober and fail a DUI test, and not because they were nervous. It's unbelievable.

What makes this worse is that the Japanese people subconsciously realize that they can't maintain a steady path. So they walk in the middle of the sidewalk. This would be ok if they walked straight, because there is enough room for someone to pass (on a bike) on either side of them. But what makes it so tricky is that it is impossible to tell where they are going to weave next! It's like they have no idea that people are anywhere around them. I frequently find myself riding my bike somewhere and weaving through people. I haven't hit anyone full on, but I've definitely brushed past people. Which is dangerous for them and for me.

I would like to reiterate that I sometimes get carried away in hyperbole, so these things may be a bit over-dramatized. But they certainly are frustrating.