And that's when the transvestite hookers appeared

Had a rather interesting first day here in Ireland. After arriving at about 11 am, we did the standard stuff. Met the coach, met the athletic academic adviser. Then we got taken to the grocery store, where we bought a bunch of food. We arrived at our apartment (I'm sharing a 2-bedroom apt with the other American who came over) and I was pleased to see it was larger than I anticipated. The bedrooms were quite small and the place lacked storage space, but at least it was a large place. A lot of unused space, but I'm sure that will fill up. After arriving I quickly passed out, I had been flying for just under 24 hours.

Me and my roommate woke up about 10:30 that night, totally rested. Being that it was a Saturday night, and Ireland is known for beer, we decided to go out and find some bars. We didn't know where to go, so we started walking and asking people where to go. We got pointed toward Temple Bar, which is not really a bar but an area with a ton of bars. For people familiar with Seattle, it'd be similar to Belltown on steroids. For DC people, maybe Adams Morgan with less creeps and more drunks.

Anyway, we meandered around, getting a feel for the place. It was pretty wild, lots of foreigners and people getting dangerously intoxicated. We picked a random bar and went in, I don't even remember the name. We walked in, and I went to the bar to get some beers. I was eager to taste the Guinness, I had been told it tastes different in Ireland (which actually is true). So I ordered two beers, paid with cash and turned around. That's when the sh*t hit the fan.

I was ambushed by two rather tall, rather big-busted women whose clothes left little to the imagination. Obviously I'm not in the market for any female attention, so I avoided eye contact and searched in vain for an exit. Before I could spot an exit, they cornered me against the bar and started lobbing questions at me.

The questions weren't so bad, no worse than what anyone else asks. However, the fact that their voices were deeper than mine was rather troubling. A cursory glance at their feet was all I needed to confirm my suspicions. I can't remember much of what they were saying, I couldn't stop wondering where they got heels that big! I played the fool with their questions, saying I didn't know anything and had only arrived that day. As quickly as I could I escaped their firm grasp, but not without one of them handing me her number. Of course I didn't ask for the number, and I've never felt so....yucky....in my life after being handed someone's phone number. I disposed of it as quickly as possible.

After I got away, some girl who had been watching the scene approached me and told me to keep my distance from those two "girls". She informed me that they were transvestite hookers. I laughed and said, "No shit", which I felt immediately bad for doing because it made her upset. She had been trying to help me after all.

I thought the major excitement of the night was done, but I was wrong. We hung out there until the bar closed, at which point I used the bathroom. Upon exiting I couldn't find Maurice, so I walked outside looking for him. He wasn't around, so I stood there waiting for him to either exit the bar or come back. While I was standing there two girls who were sitting outside the bar waiting for their friend were talking to me. Maurice came out and we started joking around a bit. The girls were both funny and nice. After a few minutes we said goodbye when the girl's friend was about to exit the bar.

We started walking across the street when we heard shouting. We turned around and saw one of the girls we were talking to outside yelling at her "friend" who was inside the bar. They started to fight and me and Maurice started to walk away. But then I looked back, and there were about 20 people standing around watching this fight. And this wasn't a normal girl fight. There was no hair pulling, grabbing or anything. This was full on MMA. One girl had pinned the other girl to the sidewalk and was ruthlessly beating her face in. I could tell nobody was going to intervene, and I didn't feel like watching a girl get murdered so I ran back and yanked the girl on top off the other girl. The other girl got up and started to rush at the girl I was holding, and I actually ended up holding each girl with one hand by the collarbone area. I pushed the second girl away and started dragging the first one down the street. I got her and her friend about a block away and told them that was the extent to which they could expect my aid.

Me and Maurice quickly left the Temple Bar area and went home. When I talked to some people later about the Temple Bar area, I was told it is mostly a tourist visited place that is expensive and overrun with people who are far to drunk, far to crazy or perhaps both. I doubt I'll be going back there any time soon. Still, it made for an interesting first 24 hours in Ireland!